Domestic violence 'devastating problem' for immigrant wives

LAKEWOOD, Ohio - The first time her screams brought police to the house, the Lakewood mother lied. She told the officers that her husband did not strike her.She was thinking of her Muslim immigrant community and the role she was expected to play. Faithful wife. Submissive mother. Mostly, she was thinking of her children and how she would support them without an income.

The night the police came back, she did not have to weigh what to say. She heard her enraged husband admit that, yes, he smacked his wife. He owned her. He could hit her.

"No, you cannot," she recalled the officer answering, and he led her husband out of the house and out of her daily life.

The Palestinian Muslim woman asked that her anonymity be protected because she fears further angering her husband or his family. Last year, she took a step almost unheard of in her community as she declared herself a victim of domestic violence, secured an order of protection against her husband and filed for divorce.

Recently, an unprecedented coalition of women has come together in the Cleveland area to confront domestic violence in their immigrant communities. They hope to throw a lifeline to victims - even to those reluctant to be rescued.

It requires courage for any woman to leave an abusive household and seek help from strangers, but immigrant women often must summon a special valor. They are more likely to live in seclusion, far from friends or family. They may not speak English, work or drive a car. Often, they see themselves at the mercy of the man who brought them here. And they may belong to a subculture slow to acknowledge their troubles.

a devastating problem for every victim," said Mira Kramarovsky, a family-violence specialist for the Jewish Family Service Association of Cleveland. "But when you don't know the language, and you're afraid of everything - even your partner - it's even worse."

Jewish community was among the first to address domestic violence within the region's insular immigrant groups. It saw the problem flare with the influx of Russian Jews in the 1990s and the later infusion of "mail-order brides," often Russian women who met local men over the Internet.

Immigrants are no more likely to suffer abuse than other American women, experts say, but are less likely to see a way out. Often, the problem gets aired when someone makes headlines.

Julia Shearson, an activist in the local Muslim community, resolved to learn more about household abuse after championing the cause of Amina Silmi, a Palestinian mother deported to Venezuela in 2004.

Silmi had entered the country legally but her husband never sponsored her application for permanent residency. Shearson believes he used her fragile immigration status to trap her in an abusive home.

Last November, the husband and mother-in-law of Sejal Patel of Twinsburg were convicted of strangling her, in part, because her family refused to pay a larger dowry.

"Domestic violence happens in every culture," said Vijaya Emani, an immigrant from India. "With us, it gets a little bit complicated."

Emani came to Cleveland after an arranged marriage at age 26. As she embraced American life, her husband seemed to cling to the worst of the Old World. She enrolled in college and joined the PTA. He discouraged her from learning to drive and zealously controlled family finances.

Threats and slaps became beatings, she said. She broke down one day in front of a college financial aid officer, who steered her to counseling services.

"Up until then, I was not labeling it abuse," said Emani, now 51, a computer engineer and the mother of two daughters in college. "I thought it was just marital problems."

She and other advocates for battered immigrant women say education is the key to breaking down barriers to help. It's a quest fraught with sensitive issues.

The Palestinian mother from Lakewood, like Emani, long resisted calling her violent husband abusive. She said she believes the Quran allows her husband to strike her.

That view alarms advocates like Shearson, who is pushing a more progressive interpretation of the Muslim holy book.

Emani said when she finally reported her husband to the police, many in her community shunned her. So she understands, she said, why women suffer silently. Immigration issues often form a daunting backdrop. Domestic violence is a deportable offense.

"We tell our women, 'The first time that you call the police is probably the last time that you'll see your husband,'" said Veronica Dahlberg, who counsels Mexican immigrant women.

Still, she said, "I always tell them to call.