Domestic violence survivor, minister speaks up

Every Thursday at 9:40 a.m., Unnia Pettus stands in front of her public relations class at Howard University shoulders back, chin up the image of a young Black woman who has it all. Her confident tone, perfectly coifed hair, and pressed navy blue suit hide the years of chaos and abuse that consumed her life as a victim of domestic violence.In addition to an adjunct position at Howard University, Pettus owns a public relations and marketing firm, Pettus & Associates, and serves as an associate minister at Galilee Baptist Church in Suitland, Md. and the District. For six agonizing years, Rev. Pettus endured an abusive relationship with her ex-husband, a pastor of a church in Prince George's County. The first two years of their marriage consisted of emotional and verbal abuse.After that, things got physical. One day, Pettus decided that enough was enough. She had to get out one or another.

"I prayed and begged him to stop," she said. "I knew he was going to kill me, so I thought 'let me take these pills and end it all,' and that's what I did."

But the suicide attempt failed, and she woke up in a hospital some hours later.The doctors explained that she should have been dead, but after being unconscious for about three or four hours, and getting her stomach pumped, she got one more chance at life. "It was God saying He loved me again," she said.

Since then, Pettus has written a book entitled "Nobody But God: A Journey of Faith from Tears to Triumph," and founded Nobody But God Ministries, which focuses on outreach.She has also become a fierce advocate for teenage and adult women who are victims of domestic violence.

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month and Pettus said it's a good time to tell people that even ministers mess up. "You can't look at a person and know what they're going through," she said.

"Six years ago, I would have said, 'oh that's nice,'" Pettus said."I can say now that National Domestic Violence Awareness Month is like a birthday for me."

She hopes that this month is effective in educating people and erasing stereotypes about domestic violence, like "you must be stupid to let someone beat you," she explained.She also wants everyone to known that this "silent epidemic" can happen to anyone, anywhere, at anytime.

"I never saw abuse, but I still ended up in this situation," she said. Ultimately, abused women must decide whether or not they're strong enough to walk away from the one they love.

According to a 2005 CDC Survey, one in four women and one in nine men in the U.S. are victims of domestic violence at some point in their lives. Among teens, the numbers are more startling. A 2006 survey by Liz Claiborne, Inc. reports that 30% of respondents reported that they worried about their personal physical safety in a relationship.

Locally, domestic violence has taken a huge toll on residents of the District and surrounding areas. The Metropolitan Police Department reports that in 2005, it received 27,401 domestic-related crime calls - one every 19 minutes.

Throughout this month, there will be several events in the metropolitan area to highlight the importance of this issue.The city of Arlington's Project PEACE is hosting a number of events to raise awareness of domestic violence. The Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence also has several programs lined up.DC is holding a prevention of teen dating violence on Monday, October 6, at 10:30 a.m. in the Grand Hall of the Hubert H. Humphrey Building, 200 Independence Ave, NW.

When she isn't working, Pettus travels to shelters to reach, preach, and teach the ones that have the most to gain from her personal tragedy and public triumph. "All of my young ladies have two or three kids, and are pregnant coming straight to the safe house from the jail," she said.

Office on Violence Against Women is a component of the U.S. Department of Justice which works with other offices, agencies, and jurisdictions to implement the 1994 Vilene Against Women Act and subsequent legislation. On the Net: www.usdoj.gov/ovw.

The National Electronic network on Violence Against Women provides resources for advocates working to end domestic violence, sexual assault, and other violence in the lives of women and their children. On the Net: VAWNet, www.vawnet.org