Family, friends resolute on finding Peggy Nichols

There wasn't a large crowd. The entire community didn't come to the vigil, but there was a room full of family members and friends all bent on finding their missingloved one, Peggy Nichols, who has been missing for over a month.There were purple ribbons, Peggy's favorite color. There was praying, singing, crying, but most of all hope.

It was raining. The vigil was held inside the small community center at the Green Terrace housing complex in Northwest on June 7. Peggy's family prayed that she wasn't out in the rain.

Peggy, 35, has not been seen since May 19. The day she disappeared, Peggy left a note with all the things she wanted from McDonalds, but what is most disturbing is what she concluded the note with: 'How can I end myself.'

Peggy's mother Lillian Taylor talked about her fears. She knows now, more than ever, her daughter needs her. Over the course of 15 years, Peggy has lived with schizophrenia, bipolar and multiple personality disorder, Taylor said.

The vigil was the first time that her sister Katina Barham has cried because it is hard for her to believe that her sister is gone.

Most people didn't know what the family was dealing with, but after Peggy disappeared, their only choice was to share their grief and burden with others, hoping that it would help find her.

"Peggy wanted to go to college; she wanted to have a family, but she couldn't," Taylor said. "She didn't even have a friend."

Taylor often wasn't sure how she could help Peggy. Her daughter didn't like to leave the house. As a result, getting her to the hospital was a challenge. Before she disappeared, Peggy threw away all of her medicine because it made her gain weight.

When it was time to make missing person flyers, there was only one outdated photo of Peggy to choose from, because she had cut up all her photos.

Taylor said that her family has a history of mental illness. Her father committed suicide.

"We never knew what was wrong with him but one day he came in the house and went into the bathroom and killed himself," Taylor said.

Living with a mentally ill father and daughter has allowed Taylor few moments of happiness. When she is with her grandchildren, Taylor said, Peggy and her sickness sometimes slips from her thoughts into moments of pure happiness. Then her mind drifts back to the empty bedroom upstairs - the room where Peggy spent most of her time, drawing the things that she wanted in life.

She drew the life she never had - herself, a husband and two children. She also drew rows and rows of girls all really close together.

"Peggy was fine when she was in school, it was when she graduated from high school that everything went downhill," Taylor said.

Taylor recalls Peggy as a shy and sweet child who didn't make friends easily. She said that Peggy doesn't even think she is sick but there are things that point to her disorder.

In 1998, Peggy asked her mother to buy her vitamins, which she did. Peggy took the entire box of vitamins and had to be rushed to the emergency room. That same year Peggy attempted to run away but the police caught her only minutes later. Her mother believes, at that point, she was in a psychotic state of mind.

"She said to the police officers in a child like voice, 'I want my mommy,'" Taylor said.

Then there was the time when she sat in the room reading the Bible. She told her mother to call her Jesus. There were the stories that her mother was keeping her hostage and that her real family was in California.

"Peggy has told me any and everything," Taylor said. Taylor has purchased a bicycle and plans to ride as far and for as long as necessary to find Peggy.

Peggy's cousin, Yumica Thompson, has joined Taylor in a tireless search for Peggysince the day that she was reported missing. She doesn't want her cousin to just become another name lost in the crowd.

"I will be Peggy's ears to hear, her hands to feel, and her eyes to see," Thompson, said. "I try and think about where would I go if I were Peggy? What would I be doing? But we just don't know."

At one point, the family thought they found Peggy but once they caught a glimpse of the woman's face, Thompson was brought to tears. Nevertheless, Thompson said that she wakes up every day with a renewed sense of hope.

"I know that she's out there somewhere and someone knows where we can find her. We just have to find them," Thompson said.