Abstract:
On this particular day, Rev. Pettus, associate minister at Galilee Baptist Church in Suitland is ready to discuss the crime of domestic abuse, which she said can happen between church people. It happened to her....
I am a relationship coach, author and professional speaker. Below is a recent article I wrote regarding domestic violence. I applaud Rev. Pettus for being obedient to God and writing the book. I'm so glad she is still with us. Praise God. Here's the article:
Yea – That's Domestic Violence
by Carmin Wharton
During a counseling session with a client recently, I realized that many women may not recognize domestic violence in its other forms so that is the focus of this article.
1. Domestic violence includes physical attack of any kind. This includes pushing, shoving, shaking, slapping, punching, kicking, stomping, etc. Any physical contact that is frightens you is meant to do just that and no, it's not all in your mind. If you felt frightened, you were supposed to feel frightened. It's the spirit, your gut, and intuition - whatever you want to call it, telling you that you are in danger, my dear.
2. Domestic violence includes verbal abuse. Verbal abuse can be cursing, threatening to kill you or do you or your children bodily harm. Verbal abuse includes yelling and getting all up in your face without ever touching you.
3. Domestic violence includes emotional abuse. Purposely doing things to inflict emotional pain on you is domestic abuse. Not coming home at night, having other women (or men - God forbid) call your home, come to your home or otherwise disrespect you and your home is all domestic violence. Draining your joint checking account or spreading ugly rumors about you - all emotional warfare.
Finally, rarely does physical abuse start out as such. Domestic violence - in fact any kind of violence - usually starts with a word.
Your spirit will let you know you are being abused. Don't ignore your spirit. Don't worry about what people will say. Don't worry about staying for your children (you're doing them greater harm by staying). Don't worry about how you will support yourself (if you're dead or badly beaten - that won't matter).
Domestic abuse affects more than just the victim upon which the abuse is inflicted. Others are victims as well. Your family, friends, co-workers and associates are victims as well. It is very distressing for others who suspect that you are being abused or those you ask to keep your secret to remain uninvolved. Domestic abuse erodes our society because it relegates the abused to feeling hopeless and contributes to low self-esteem. Families are destroyed because of it and this fact can be perpetuated in generations to come. Abusers usually come from families in which either they are one of their parents were abused. It's a cycle that must be broken.
If you need help leaving, get help. Talk to your local domestic violence shelter, your pastor, a co-worker, your supervisor, your friends, your family. Make sure the person you ask for assistance can give you the assistance you need and that they are able and willing to get involved. Get out now.
Please feel free to use this article in your newsletter, e-zine or blog. However, the byline below must be included in its entirety.
Copyright 2007 Carmin Wharton
Author, Lessons Learned: While Looking for Love in All the Wrong Faces
www.carminwharton.com – Official Web Site
www.lovelessonslearned.com - Book Web Site
www.therelationshipteacher.com - Blog
I am a member of the same church that Rev. Pettus attends and its apparent that we sometimes look at people because they are Ministers thinking they have an ideal life, but we never know how fragile their lives are. When I look back over the years that I've known Rev. Pettus she has been a strong black women always willing to give someone else strength and encouragement. I wan her to know regardless of what has happen in the pass, I Love Her for who she is then and now. I would never shune her because of what she has finally comes to grip with the abuse in her life. I always commend her for being strong and admitting that she was being abused and that she has some flaws like so many of us do. God saved us because we are not pefect but that he came that the Least, the Loss and Last could be free. I Love You Rev. Pettus and I got your back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Greetins to you in the precious name of Jesus. Thanking Jesus for you and your testimony. We have
so much in common. The Lord leads me as well to tell my story in churches throughout California, on the highways and byways, to sinners... I am an overcomer in Jesus (Romans 8:28) of attempted murder, shot at, beaten and rapped, abused in every form, by a professing Christian man. Three years later I married, Pastor Lawrence Stewart. We both entering the marriage bound in the generational curse of domestic violence, bitterness, hurt, childhood trauma/witnessing our mothers being abused in the 3 stage cycle, co-dependency, low self esteem, and other very deeply rooted issues, etc as many many others Christians--. My now husband, Lawrence (Pastor Stewart) bound in deep rooted anger, a controlling spirit and my self in the victim syndrome, fear, and self-hate, man hating spirit, yet I've never been gay nor had the desire, praise Jesus! (I was a childhood victim of incest). It's been a battle, but we (Lawrence and I) have been able to have the victory. We both continue to work with Leaders and lay people in the church-- So very sadly, we meet hundreds and hundreds of Bishops, pastors, evangelist, professing prophets, laypeople..., bound in the various forms of domestic violence in the African American Church alone, not to mention our hispanic, white counterparts in the body and other races. With a cry in our heart, we preach the Word of God regarding the dynamics of domestic violence for abusers to repent, for healing and deliverance through the blood of Jesus. It has not been an easy walk. We do not have a traditional church. On a daily basis almost handling emergencies, practical needs, creating resources, educational DVDS, all Bible based, We work in the ministry through the non -profit God called us to carry out in this Noah day perilious time. For the Goliath of Domestic Violence is secretly devouring too too many marriages in the church across this nation as you know. We believe in the Old and New Testament, Father God, Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit, the Godhead. We face great opposition in the spirit realm, yet God has given us grace and victory to stand this far. Our own wholeness is challenge, we go through continual purging and strongly submit to God and resist the devil, for the problem of domestic violence is commplex for many and many are in denial, shameful and too many batterers are too pride to get help. Our marriage has been rocky at times, yet we remain in the presence of God for deliverance and healing as a lifestyle, our home is a daily place of devotion and prayer. The Word of God on DVD is constantly playing, we live in the Word studying and strongly lean on God to help us in this mission. We knew before we got married that we we called we fight against the demons of family violence, through Jesus our Banner, to expose His destructive/violent works behind the scene of deeply sick, wounded, bitter and wicked souls of the prepetrator. Please pray for us, as we strive and press forth, helping to set captives free. I thank God for all the honest saints of God in Jesus' army.
I wanted to share, my husband, Lawrence, served 13 months in state prison for abusing me, in 2001. God began early on in our marriage exposing the devil, and bringing his evil to light, and God making my husband accountable. Lawrence has gone through great chastening, homelessness, deliverance, deep healing, etc. I basically have lived on my face, fasting and praying, travailing and educating myself through the leading and divine teaching of God's Holy Spirit and resouces He's provided over the past 15 years. I have gone through continual deep water healing and our 10 year old daughter in the presence of Jesus. It has made all the difference. Jesus has done a great deliverance in our little girl, she is so precious.
Also to share, My best friend was murdered by her husband, Pastor Henry Hayes in 1999, he also murdered their 7 year old daughter, as result of the curse of domestic violence.
Lawrence is the Founder of Gideons Men on the Move Against Domestic Violence, Non profit. His website is www.gideonsmen.net.
My website is www.changedwomanoutreach.com
God bless you always and I love you in Jesus our Lord.
Sincerely,
Pastor Jacqueline Stewart, follower and servant of Jesus Christ, my Healer, Deliverer and Savior, Jer 17
Greetings to you in the precious name of Jesus. Thanking Jesus for you and your testimony. We have
so much in common. The Lord leads me as well to tell my story in churches throughout California, on the highways and byways, to sinners... I am an overcomer in Jesus (Romans 8:28) of attempted murder, shot at, beaten and rapped, abused in every form, by a professing Christian man. Three years later I married, Pastor Lawrence Stewart. We both entering the marriage bound in the generational curse of domestic violence, bitterness, hurt, childhood trauma/witnessing our mothers being abused in the 3 stage cycle, co-dependency, low self esteem, and other very deeply rooted issues, etc as many many others Christians--. My now husband, Lawrence (Pastor Stewart) bound in deep rooted anger, a controlling spirit and my self in the victim syndrome, fear, and self-hate, man hating spirit, yet I've never been gay nor had the desire, praise Jesus! (I was a childhood victim of incest). So very sadly, I've met hundreds & hundreds of Bishops, pastors, evangelist, professing prophets, laypeople..., bound in the various forms of domestic violence in the African American Church alone, not to mention our hispanic, white counterparts in the body and other races. With a cry in our heart, God uses me to preach the Word of God regarding the dynamics of domestic violence for abusers to repent, for healing and deliverance through the blood of Jesus. It has not been an easy walk. On a daily basis almost handling emergencies, practical needs, creating resources, educational DVDS, all Bible based, I work in the ministry through the non -profit God called us to carry out in this Noah day perilious time. For the Goliath of Domestic Violence is secretly devouring too too many marriages in the church across this nation as you know. I believe in the Old and New Testament, Father God, Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit, the Godhead. I've face great opposition in the spirit realm, yet God has given me grace and victory to stand this far.
The problem of domestic violence is too commplex for the natural mind, Jesus has the answer and is the solution to truly set the oppressed free. Many many are in denial, shameful and too many batterers are too prideful to get help.
God lead me out of my marriage of domestic violence after almost 13 years of marriage. Domestic Violence was generational on both our sides of the famiuly tree. Myself entering the marriage victim minded and him beeing angry and controlling. The violence in our marriage would end for a while, then the root in my estranged husband would be pressed by the enemy and the violence would begin all over again. When we remained in the presence of God for deliverance and healing as a lifestyle, our home is a daily place of devotion and prayer--this helped greatly but once we stopped, my estranged husband not only began to be verbally abusive more than ever, he began to leave the home and only use it as an hotel.
I wanted to share, my ex-husband, Lawrence a pastor, served 13 months in state prison for abusing me, in 2001. I basically have lived on my face, fasting and praying, travailing and educating myself through the leading and divine teaching of God's Holy Spirit and resouces He's provided over the past 15 years. I have gone through continual deep water healing and our 11 year old daughter in the presence of Jesus--warring against the violence we underwent in our family. This kept our head above water. Yet after Lawrence left for good--God has had to do so much more intensive care work in our paining, hurting souls from all the cruel mean violent treatment, we when through in cycles. Some tell stories about the cruelity of slavery, some share stories about the cruelity of Hitler's treatment of the Jews; we we the evil treatment of God's Hebrew children under the hand of Pharaoh; we read the story of Saul trying to murder David; and the 3 Hebrew boys in the fire. I've been redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb and the Words of my testimony--using my story from pain to glory to glorify Jesus; to expose the evil work of Satan and to reveal the ugly devastation of family abuse. In Deut. God says chose good and Life OR evil and death. By the transformation of the Blood of Jesus renewing my mind from the victim syndrom to the truth of His Word; I am blessed to have chosen life and good. My chos is Jesus the prince of peace. The sanctity of life is greater than a marriage of death. Jesus never entended for his creation to murder their own spouse. In these evil days iniquity which is domestic violence is waxing worse per Matthew 24. These are the days of Noah-- Domestic Vioolence marriages belong to Baalim. God created marriages for holines and godly love and for godly offsprings. Jesus has done a great deliverance in our little girl, she is so precious, the video of her and healing children and teens who witness domestic violence is www.healthechildren.net
Also to share, My best friend was murdered by her husband, Pastor Henry Hayes in 1999, he also murdered their 7 year old daughter, as result of the curse of domestic violence.
My website is www.changedwomanoutreach.com
God bless you always and I love you in Jesus our Lord.
Sincerely,
Pastor Jacqueline Stewart, follower and servant of Jesus Christ, my Healer, Deliverer and Savior, Jer 17[/QUOTE]
Greetings to you in the precious name of Jesus. Thanking Jesus for you and your testimony. We have
so much in common. The Lord leads me as well to tell my story in churches throughout California, on the highways and byways, to sinners... I am an overcomer in Jesus (Romans 8:28) of attempted murder, shot at, beaten and rapped, abused in every form, by a professing Christian man. Three years later I married, a Pastor. We both entering the marriage bound in the generational curse of domestic violence, bitterness, hurt, childhood trauma/witnessing our mothers being abused in the 3 stage cycle, co-dependency, low self esteem, and other very deeply rooted issues, etc as many many others Christians--. My now ex husband, bound in deep rooted anger, a controlling spirit, drug abuse and my self in the victim syndrome, fear, and self-hate. So very sadly, I've met hundreds & hundreds of Bishops, pastors, evangelist, professing prophets, laypeople..., bound in the various forms of domestic violence in the African American Church alone, not to mention our hispanic, white counterparts in the body and other races. With a cry in our heart, God uses me to preach the Word of God regarding the dynamics of domestic violence for abusers to repent, for healing and deliverance through the blood of Jesus. It has not been an easy walk. On a daily basis almost handling emergencies, practical needs, creating resources, educational DVDS, all Bible based, I work in the ministry through the non -profit God called us to carry out in this Noah day perilious time. For the Goliath of Domestic Violence is secretly devouring too too many marriages in the church across this nation as you know. I believe in the Old and New Testament, Father God, Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit, the Godhead. I've face great opposition in the spirit realm, yet God has given me grace and victory to stand this far.
The problem of domestic violence is too commplex for the natural mind, Jesus has the answer and is the solution to truly set the oppressed free. Many many are in denial, shameful and too many batterers are too prideful to get help.
God lead me out of my marriage of domestic violence after almost 13 years of marriage. Domestic Violence was generational on both our sides of the famiuly tree. Myself entering the marriage victim minded and him beeing angry and controlling. The violence in our marriage would end for a while, then the root in my estranged husband would be pressed by the enemy and the violence would begin all over again. When we remained in the presence of God for deliverance and healing as a lifestyle, our home is a daily place of devotion and prayer--this helped greatly but once we stopped, my estranged husband not only began to be verbally abusive more than ever, he began to leave the home and only use it as an hotel.
I wanted to share, my ex-husband, Lawrence a pastor, served 13 months in state prison for abusing me, in 2001. I basically have lived on my face, fasting and praying, travailing and educating myself through the leading and divine teaching of God's Holy Spirit and resouces He's provided over the past 15 years. I have gone through continual deep water healing and our 11 year old daughter in the presence of Jesus--warring against the violence we underwent in our family. This kept our head above water. Yet after Lawrence left for good--God has had to do so much more intensive care work in our paining, hurting souls from all the cruel mean violent treatment, we when through in cycles. Some tell stories about the cruelity of slavery, some share stories about the cruelity of Hitler's treatment of the Jews; we we the evil treatment of God's Hebrew children under the hand of Pharaoh; we read the story of Saul trying to murder David; and the 3 Hebrew boys in the fire. I've been redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb and the Words of my testimony--using my story from pain to glory to glorify Jesus; to expose the evil work of Satan and to reveal the ugly devastation of family abuse. In Deut. God says chose good and Life OR evil and death. By the transformation of the Blood of Jesus renewing my mind from the victim syndrom to the truth of His Word; I am blessed to have chosen life and good. My chos is Jesus the prince of peace. The sanctity of life is greater than a marriage of death. Jesus never entended for his creation to murder their own spouse. In these evil days iniquity which is domestic violence is waxing worse per Matthew 24. These are the days of Noah-- Domestic Vioolence marriages belong to Baalim. God created marriages for holines and godly love and for godly offsprings. Jesus has done a great deliverance in our little girl, she is so precious, the video of her and healing children and teens who witness domestic violence is www.healthechildren.net
Also to share, My best friend was murdered by her husband, Pastor Henry Hayes in 1999, he also murdered their 7 year old daughter, as result of the curse of domestic violence.
My website is www.changedwomanoutreach.com
God bless you always and I love you in Jesus our Lord.
Sincerely,
Pastor Jacqueline Stewart, follower and servant of Jesus Christ, my Healer, Deliverer and Savior, Jer 17[/QUOTE]
Dear readers:
PLEASE READ MY COMMENTS DATED AUGUST "2009" ABOVE--IT IS AN UPDATE AFTER THE ONE i WROTE IN 2008, FOR AFTER THE HARD WARFARE FOR MY ONCE MARRIAGE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN CYCLES; OF CRUEL BEHAVIORS CARRIED OUT AGAINST OUR DAUGHTER AND OUR SUFFERING IS SO WELL DESCRIBED IN THE FIRST COMMENTS (ABOVE). THIS BEHAVIOR RESURFACED AGAIN IN MY ESTRANGED HUSBAND--THIS TIME I ALMOST DIED. THIS TIIME GOD SAID ENOUGH IS ENOUGH--(IHAD EARS TO HEAR HIM, PRAISE JESUS) AND GOD LED MY DAUGTER AND I OUT OF THE MARRIAGE/FAMILY OF BONDAGE/CYCLE OF DEATH AND MURDER OF OUR HEARTS. PRAISE JESUS FOR HIS HEALING BLOOD WORKING THROUGH MY DAUGHTER AND I DAILY. MALACHI CHAPTER 2 SAYS DUE TO THE PRIEST COVERING HIS WIFE WITH THE GARMENT OF VIOLENCE IT CAUSES DIVORCE. GOD HATES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. GOD BLESS YOU1
Spring Break
Carmin Wharton
posted 10/22/07 @ 11:51 AM EST
Yea – That's Domestic Violence
by Carmin Wharton
During a counseling session with a client recently, I realized that many women may not recognize domestic violence in its other forms so that is the focus of this article.
1. Domestic violence includes physical attack of any kind. This includes pushing, shoving, shaking, slapping, punching, kicking, stomping, etc. Any physical contact that is frightens you is meant to do just that and no, it's not all in your mind. If you felt frightened, you were supposed to feel frightened. It's the spirit, your gut, and intuition - whatever you want to call it, telling you that you are in danger, my dear.
2. Domestic violence includes verbal abuse. Verbal abuse can be cursing, threatening to kill you or do you or your children bodily harm. Verbal abuse includes yelling and getting all up in your face without ever touching you.
3. Domestic violence includes emotional abuse. Purposely doing things to inflict emotional pain on you is domestic abuse. Not coming home at night, having other women (or men - God forbid) call your home, come to your home or otherwise disrespect you and your home is all domestic violence. Draining your joint checking account or spreading ugly rumors about you - all emotional warfare.
Finally, rarely does physical abuse start out as such. Domestic violence - in fact any kind of violence - usually starts with a word.
Your spirit will let you know you are being abused. Don't ignore your spirit. Don't worry about what people will say. Don't worry about staying for your children (you're doing them greater harm by staying). Don't worry about how you will support yourself (if you're dead or badly beaten - that won't matter).
Domestic abuse affects more than just the victim upon which the abuse is inflicted. Others are victims as well. Your family, friends, co-workers and associates are victims as well. It is very distressing for others who suspect that you are being abused or those you ask to keep your secret to remain uninvolved. Domestic abuse erodes our society because it relegates the abused to feeling hopeless and contributes to low self-esteem. Families are destroyed because of it and this fact can be perpetuated in generations to come. Abusers usually come from families in which either they are one of their parents were abused. It's a cycle that must be broken.
If you need help leaving, get help. Talk to your local domestic violence shelter, your pastor, a co-worker, your supervisor, your friends, your family. Make sure the person you ask for assistance can give you the assistance you need and that they are able and willing to get involved. Get out now.
Please feel free to use this article in your newsletter, e-zine or blog. However, the byline below must be included in its entirety.
Copyright 2007 Carmin Wharton
Author, Lessons Learned: While Looking for Love in All the Wrong Faces
www.carminwharton.com – Official Web Site
www.lovelessonslearned.com - Book Web Site
www.therelationshipteacher.com - Blog