Churches urged to break the silence on teen sex

By: LaDonna Kearse/NovelTeenInk, School Without Walls

Posted: 6/29/08

Last week, authorities launched an investigation into a 'pregnancy pact' at Gloucester High School in the suburbs of Boston. Seventeen girls, some younger than 16, are expecting babies, four times more than usual. That may be shocking to the adult world, but in the world of today's teenagers, that is normal stuff.

"Many kids nowadays are having sex a lot," said 15-year-old India Reeves, a member of St. John AME on Stanton Road in Southeast. "A lot of them need help but they don't have anyone special to talk to."

Eighteen-year-old Stephon Bryant, a D.C. resident agrees. "I know you're supposed to be abstinent until you get married but it's not like that," Bryant said. "Today, in this world, in this society, everybody's doing something."

A 2007 Youth Risk Behavior survey from the D.C. Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, confirms this. The survey reported that about 58% of D.C. public high school students aged 15 to 18 have had sex. Thirteen percent of students had sex before the age of 13, and 22% of students have had sex with more than four people. The survey also found that 31% of middle school students have had sex.

Several factors influence children not to have sex, including parents, schools, churches and peer pressure. Some turn to their favorite media celebrities for guidance.

"They feel their favorite celebrity is their role model, and if they see them getting pregnant, they want to get pregnant too," said 14-year-old Dana Veney, referring to Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney Spears' younger sister. Jamie had a baby girl last Thursday. She is 17. Solange Knowles, Beyonce Knowles' younger sister, had a son when she was 18.

In conversations with area teenagers last week, some wondered whether churches shouldn't be offering regular nonjudgmental programs where teenagers can talk candidly about sex and the sex battles they are grappling with. Few said such programs exist at their churches.

With its teaching of a sacred union between a man and a woman, and waiting for sex until after marriage, the church should be a good influence on teens' decision on sex, several teenagers said. Veney said she would go to a youth group where they talked about abstinence and safe sex, if that service was offered through her church.

"In actuality, I really think that some don't think that abstinence is something that the young will really even accept," said Debyii Sababu Thomas, assistant pastor at Hemmingway Temple AME Church in Baltimore, Md. "I'm sure many of us in this church are not aware of how important it is to even emphasize abstinence. For those who've already gotten involved sexually, we shouldn't ignore them. We should talk about being safe, and whether or not they need to continue."

Even though Hemmingway Temple AME Church doesn't have a program of their own, they work with other agencies in the community, such as the Health Department.

People's Community Baptist Church in Silver Spring, Md., is one of the places teenagers could turn for a program that deals with not only abstinence and sexual education, but also the struggles faced by teenagers. Children who are not members of the church can join the programs also.

"I can't speak for other churches, but our church is very involved in the life of all of the people who belong to the church, and we are most especially interested in our youth," said Melbourne Cummings, deaconess and one of the founders of People's Community Baptist Church.

Area churches could take a cue from a church in Cleveland, Ohio, which, in conjunction with four other urban congregations has begun holding ceremonies at which parents, guardians and church members pledge to support youths choosing a chaste lifestyle. The rituals are part of a new openness about sexual issues in the sanctuary.

Breaking a sacred silence in a hookup culture, church leaders are talking about sex with young people as part of a larger effort that includes providing information about health and job programs to combat poverty and hopelessness.

And youths are responding to the no-sex-in-the-city message. Two hundred and twenty-five young people -- almost double the number from a year earlier -- made purity pledges at "True Love Waits" rallies at two local churches this spring, said Gail Reese, director of the Cleveland-based Ministry of Reconciliation.

Her ministry also has begun a program to train youths to lead discussion and support groups in churches and community centers.

"There's no way in the world we can avoid talking about sex because we see the devastation it does in our community," said the Rev. Rick Gillespie-Mobley, co-pastor of Antonio's church, Glenville New Life Community Church.